that the rest of the world holds us back and keeps us stuck in the slavery of expectations - but that we hold ourselves back and stuck in the slavery of ‘not being good enough’ to meet our own expectations.
The motivational strategy of working towards being 'your best self’ is actually what is at fault here. In needing to BECOME your best self - it makes the assumption that you are not ALREADY your best self - it is reinforcing the belief that you are not good enough.
The thing is, you already are your authentic self and you already are your best self. But this happens only when you choose YOU in each moment - and don’t choose the story of who you think you are…
As Eckhart Tolle so poetically describes it in his book A New Earth:
Words cannot describe or represent you. Nor can anyone else’s thoughts or perceptions represent who you really are - because this is just a story - their story.
You are the only one who knows you - but not with words, not with the story of your history - not with the beliefs that you hold about yourself - because these aren’t real.
You know you simply with presence and ‘knowing’ - that deep gut feeling that connects you to raw existence.
In realising that you aren’t “your name”, you aren’t someone’s wife, someone’s daughter, someone’s mother, someone’s employee - you just are YOU - a human BEing. Everything else is just extra layers we give to self to try to explain everything.
But how does this translate to being my authentic self??
This is the beauty of it all...
You get to make that choice!
but only in the now, only in the present moment.
This gives you ultimate freedom to change your world in a milli-second. By choosing how you want to show up in the world right now.
Do you want to show up attached to the limiting stories you tell yourself about what it means to be you? The stories of your failures, of your bad relationships, of the negative thoughts in your head….
Or do you want to be able to choose your existence for yourself in the moment - unattached to how you may have shown up yesterday, this morning, or even one minute ago. The choice of joy, the choice of acceptance, the choice of freedom, the choice of doing your best - what ever the best may be for you - in the moment.
Being your Authentic Self is letting go of everything you thought about yourself and just doing your best to show up now - in whatever capacity you have in the moment.
And yes, it is as easy as that.
And here is the proof - have you ever gone to work on a Monday morning and felt absolutely miserable?
That is your choice - you do that.
And have you ever been super excited because you are going to a concert tonight and you can't wait?
Yep, that is you again, your choice.
Do you get excited on a Friday night because you are on your way home and you can't wait to have that first glass of wine on the couch in front of a movie.
We do it anyway, and we consciously do it. So why not make the choice to show up and be YOU? Why not choose to do your best in this moment?
So this is where I hand it over to you! Learning is wasted if it isn't implemented with action - watch out for more Actionables each week.
Regularly ask yourself these two self-awareness questions which enable you to make effective choices in the moment:
1. How can I bring more of myself to this task I’m working on?
2. How am I doing my best in this moment?
I would love to hear how you go! What are your challenges with being your authentic self? What does doing your best look like to you?
Parts of this blog are based on the theories of Neuro-Semantics and the education I received at The Coaching Room in Sydney Australia.