I am not perfect. I don't even pretend to be. I don't have the perfect job, or friends, or relationships. I don't have the perfect house, or car, or wardrobe. I don't have the perfect life.
That is because, it doesn't exist.
I've spend years torturing myself over wanting to have the best life I can. I've read hundreds of books telling me how I can get it. But still I fall short.
I could analyse for days the reasons why, and continue to come back to, "well, I'm just not doing enough, not trying hard enough, not meditating enough, not working hard enough, I'm just not enough."
Always falling short.
This is how I ended up here.
I cannot live up to the expectations I have put on myself.
That is the reality of it. That is the underlying issue. I dream desperately of being more than what I am today - which has lead me to feel:
Who I am now is not good enough.
This is one of the greatest lies of our time. It is one of the most corrupt and soul destroying myths of our lives. It is the monster that keeps us tortured, and keeps our consumer economies in existence. Maybe I'll be happy if I get a new outfit, buy more cosmetics, go on another diet...
What I needed to realise FIRST, before I read all the books, before I tried to pursue my dream life, before I tried to find happiness elsewhere is that:
Who I am, and where I am, right now is exactly where I need to be.
Who I am is okay. Even if I'm not perfect, even if I am not yet fulfilled in my career, even if I am not 100% happy in every part of my life.
Who I am is okay. In fact, I'm pretty bloody awesome, when I just allow myself to be me.
This 'Self-Acceptance' is the first step to realising that trying to improve my life, is not about improving or changing who I am at my core.
Trying to improve my life is about gaining new knowledge, which will give me new skills, to do new things - which is all External. Who I am at my core, will always be the same - independent of everything else.
When I let go of trying to change who I am, then I am filled with relief, and with joy. Life isn't meant to be a struggle, it is meant to be flow.
When we can let go of the 'myth' that we need to change, and focus on what we want to learn as a human being - we are able to let go of the feeling that we are 'not enough', and accept that we are simply on a journey of improving our knowledge and experience of life - the most natural evolution of the soul.
Each of us, each soul on this earth, is pure and perfect at its core.