Turning green with envy at someone else's success or beauty is a pretty common thing in Australia.
It has unfortunately lead us to the culture of Tall Poppy Syndrome, where instead of feeling jealously, but still congratulating the person on their achievement and then continuing our own life - we feel the green envy set in and we turn into a toad - filling with poison, finding any means possible to knock them off their stage and bring them down a level, trying to make ourselves feel better.
Stopping the Green-eyed Monster.
Well I'm not much of a fan of toads, I much prefer Kermit the Frog. But I think that envy has been one of my life long faults. I may not feel poison in my jealousy, but my reaction instead has me feeling sad, and lamenting in the way of my favourite puppet frog - "it isn't easy being green".
For most of my life I saw myself as not good enough, because I was constantly trying to validate who I was against someone else. It could have been a friend from high school, one of my beautiful sisters, one of my 80 cousins, a person from work, someone I walk past in the street, or a picture or story in a magazine.
Using constant comparison against measures of 'success' to see where I fit into the world.
But whether your envy has you bringing that other person down, or putting yourself down, there is no benefit ever to comparing yourself to another person. Holding up your life, or your career, or your appearance for comparison is simply setting yourself up for disaster, because your inner critic will take over.
ACTION POINT: Stop this sh*t now! The only person you should compare yourself to is YOURSELF! Take a moment right now to write down at least 5 things that you love about YOU:
Write down one for each of the following:
I love my ......................................... & how it makes me look like me.
I love the way I ............................... in my relationships with others.
I love that right now in my life I have ........................................................
I love that I have achieved or changed ........................... in my life.
I love that I do .............................. to work toward my future.
Focusing on your own reflection.
The reason why we want to only focus on ourselves for comparison is because there are no two people in the world who are on the same journey! We are all at totally different points in our life, unique to the lives we have lived so far, and unique to what we are visualising for our future.
Whenever you feel yourself getting jealous about someone else, remember that you too have something amazing to celebrate - and feel happy that you can join in their party. Sharing in someone else's joy or success will open up the space for joy and success in your life - CULTIVATE IT!
My confidence is always highest when I am looking at my life from the point I am at now, and when I reflect on my personal growth. Not to mention, it gives me a huge boost when I focus on all the big things I am working toward achieving in my life - I feel bloody fantastic!
To overcome low confidence brought on by jealousy and comparison -
don't look at others and hope to see yourself:
Look at yourself, and know that YOU are amazing!
"Some day we'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers the dreamers and me." Kermit the Frog
Hey there, I've started to do something new! With each blog post - you will have something to take away with you. For this week's post, you can access a free downloadable file of the above ACTION POINT, that you can print out, complete, and keep in your wallet, or hand bag - to remind yourself of all the things you can be proud of - your reflection in the mirror!
Go forth & be gorgeous! kinda feel like watching The Muppet Movie now! XXX