I had a bit of an awakening this month. Well really, a slap in the face that woke me up... It was brought to my attention (in the gentlest way possible by my work coach) that I am a people-pleaser.
When he first alluded to it and used those words 'people-pleaser' I was hurt, even though he said I wasn't in a 'victim-mindset-people-take-advantage-of-me way', but just in a 'want-to-be-helpful- because-I-want-people-to-like-me kinda way' so I might do stuff I really don't want to do…
As I've dwelled on this I've realised how significantly this has actually defined my life in the last few years. I am a people-pleaser and I AM taking on a victim-mindset because of it - and I'm making choices to put other things first that are delaying what I really want from life….
One of my most significant SOP - it is behind most of my internal resistance - I just don’t know how to say no... And then when I say yes, I beat myself up for feeling like I've been taken advantage of... Doesn't it suck to be me?...
Seeing how this is playing out in my life, I find this victim mentality in other areas too - at work I get looked over and not taken seriously, in health my hypermobility causes me constant pain and injury, in my finances I never have enough money, in my businesses I always have way too much work to do, in my friendships I'm always too busy to see anyone, in my personal life I'm always too tired... I see myself as completely out of control and a victim of my circumstances...
My unconscious Perspective on life has me stuck in these Standard Operating Procedures that keep me unhappy and unproductive. This Perspective validates the negative Stories I tell myself about my life and the Opinions I have formed about how the world works - no wonder I feel like I'm running around in circles.
But this month, I decided it was time to take off my Victim running shoes and step into the shoes of an empowered woman. Each day I choose to see the world from the perspective of a woman who is following her dreams.
When we change the way we see ourselves and how the world responses around us, things begin to fall into place, the universe delivers on dreams, opportunities present themselves that make it easy to pursue the truth of what we are destined for. Opening your eyes to see opportunities, opening your mind to new possibilities, opening your heart to feel alive, and opening your soul to feel the joy of your truth.
Every day we make the choice how we see our world, but it takes constant practise and realignment to filter this into every aspect of life. I realise that as things in my life have become more and more uncertain, I've let go of my power and reverted to my standard way of 'operating' - running on auto-pilot. Now I'm aware of this, I have more work to do to get my mindset back on track, and focused on empowering me to make the choices that will get me closer to my Big Scary Goals.
Putting on the right shoes every morning will help.
I've been inspired this week by 'Notes from the Universe', one of which I wrote down to keep in my pocket and read whenever I can:
"Live your dreams now, to any degree that you can. With every purchase. Every decision. Every hello and goodbye. Every assignment. Every conversation. Every meal. Every morning, afternoon and evening. And never, ever, ever look back. Reframe every thought, word, and deed from the perspective of the person you've always dreamed you'd be, as if your life was already as you've always dreamed it would be. Die to yesterday's illusions, and be reborn to the truth of your vision."